The Darroch Legacy

A Sims 3 Legacy blog

Chapter 2.4 – Planet pumpkin


Ugh, I’m such a lazy piece of crap. I wanted to update on Wednesday but all the screenshots were in the wrong order (I have no idea how that happened) and I  don’t know what patience is. But after a long battle and no anger meltdowns (okay, maybe just one) the chapter is ready. Aren’t you just out of your mind with unabashed glee?
Anyhow, the last time we saw this dysfunctional mess of a family Archer got hitched to Holly and moved out, Lily gave birth to Noelle and then was immediately impregnated again by an overly eager Patterns. There was also a lot of dry heaving caused by a hideously textured toad.
Oh, and I lost the will to live.
Connor has  temporarily abandoned his lust for cucumbers as they are no longer in season. He likes them firm, you see. Instead he has turned his creepy and empty gaze onto the wonderful roundness of pumpkins and their squishy interiors. * gag *
As a side note: My username is supposed to read as Jane Eyre Force. It’s a really bad pun. However I just realised that it reads as one word due to some blogs not having case sensitivity with usernames. Hope that clears any confusion! Oh, and I’m Inter_Somnia on Reddit because JaneEyreForce was taken. 😥 But I am happy to know that someone else has bad taste in puns, too.

This hamplanet of a reporter has been orbiting near the house for a few days now. Connor has mistaken him for a pumpkin on more than one occasion, a mistake that did not have a positive outcome for either of them.

He never strays too far from Laura. I think he might have a crush.
Unfortunately for him, Laura is still happily married to her vegetable obsessed husband and therefore will not be getting stuck in anyone else’s gravitational pull anytime soon.

Do you know why there isn’t any space to walk around in, Connor?
It’s because you’ve filled every possible nook and cranny in the house and garden with these stupid fucking pumpkins, you loser.

It seems that despite his new obsession, cucumbers are still not far from Connor’s mind.
“Hey, handsome. How about you and me go find a happy ending with some cucumber slices?”
Somehow Patterns managed to suppress the secret lust he harbors toward his father-in-law and walked away.
I’m not even joking. The two of them are always trying to autonomously flirt with one another and I have to keep a close eye on the situation to avoid a rift between the two of them and Lily, especially if she’s going to have more babies!

This made me feel so nostalgic. As some of you will probably remember, Laura met Connor whilst rummaging through his trash can. That is literal, not an innuendo.
I’m not entirely sure if she’s being romantic, or if her previously unquenchable desire to stick her hand into steaming piles of garbage has reared its head once more. She seems to have given up on the screaming, at least.

Ding ding, round 2! Pop ’em out, Lily!

How can she look so beautiful right after giving birth? Oh well, that’s sim reality for you.
Meet Fritz! He was born with the disciplined and grumpy traits. He is a Virgo with a love of vegetarian chilli, music with roots and the colour red. Here’s hoping he inherited his father’s hair colour.

I have no idea why, but Connor suddenly has tattoos. I don’t know when or how it happened. I tried removing them (it’s CC under the facepaint category) BUT THEY KEEP COMING BACK. rage.wav

Despite his initial fears of becoming a dad, Patterns has adapted to fatherhood really well. He is always teaching Noelle something new and ensuring that she doesn’t become too influenced by the questionable sanity of her grandparents.
Ooh, quick question. I can’t for the life of me remember where I downloaded Noelle’s hair. I know from CAS that it’s a Newsea hair but that’s about it, though I can’t seem to find it on their website. Anyone know where it can be found? I am asking for someone on Reddit who wants to add it to their game (the creator of the Swann legacy, which you should read!).

It’s that time! The toddler stage is pretty boring once they’ve finished learning everything they possibly can, so it’s always a relief when their birthdays finally roll around.
I’m rather fond of the mismatched chairs around the table.

Now is not the time to take a dump of epic proportions, Noelle.

…Oh. That’s just how your face is. Better than pudding-face syndrome* I suppose.
Noelle rolled Hot Headed as her third trait, and I decided to dress her in green seeing as that is her favourite colour.
*Pudding face syndrome is a disease that effects 90% of child sims. It is now considered a serious epidemic. Please do your part and donate to APC (aid for pudding cure).

Noelle was born with the brave trait, and as soon as she aged up into a child she spent the rest of the evening obsessively checking under the bed for monsters. However, all she found was a stack of magazines named ‘Gourd Gardener’s monthly’ and Laura’s secret stash of emergency Dorito’s.
You win some, you lose some.

She’s got the right idea. But she better inhale that massive wedge of cake quickly. I saw how Lily was scarfing it down a chapter or two ago.

Ah yes, a hard stone floor. A perfect and completely natural surface to place your defenseless offspring on.
Motherhood clearly comes so naturally to Lily.

Alriiiight, Fritz inherited Pattern’s hair! Score! Looks like he also got his mother’s eye colour. What a lovely combination! He’s so cute I want to CRUSH HIM.


asskjdafaffa I can’t function because this is way too adorable and I want to throw up.
Look at his little face!

Lily: “I disapprove of your relationship.”
Lily turns into a total creeper whenever her brother and his wife come to visit. She follows them around and stands way too close whenever they do something intimate. Such a boner killer.
On a side note, it looks like Holly might be pregnant! Yay! Little Archers!

I’m getting ‘nam style flashbacks to when Lily was still a toddler, and Laura was practicing her questionable methods of parenting. Poor Fritz.
The claaaaaw!

“Ahaha. Nothing to see here, guys! I am a totally normal and sane individual who totally wasn’t about to cause a toddler to have a heart attack.” * strained grin *
…That’s Laura! * cue canned laughter *

Connor is a fantastic grandparent. Here he is, showing an overwhelming amount of concern for the wellbeing and upbringing of his youngest grandchild. I can almost feel the love emanating from this picture. Truly heartwarming.

Oh well, his grandfather may not love him but I certainly do! He’s far too cute! I love that he left a trail of toys in the hallway.

For some reason Noelle spends a lot of time in her grandparent’s bedroom. Quite possibly the most dangerous and disturbing room in the house. It is painted the colour of cucumbers. Noelle’s favourite colour is green so perhaps that is why she likes it so much.
Oh, the horrors this room is hiding.

…But perhaps Noelle’s room isn’t so safe either.
Ugh, the press are starting to get creepier and creepier.
How to get a job as a member of the paparazzi in The Sims 3:
Be creepy.
Don’t be uncreepy.

I’ve seen this face before. On Connor.
It can only mean one thing.

Yup. A steaming bag of poo.
I like the silver bag. It almost makes it look as if it has been gift wrapped. Very fancy indeed.

Oh no. Poor Laura. I thought she would be safe after the last guy left, but they’ve replaced him with someone equally creepy.
Next time: More babies…? Maybe. Will Connor stop cheating on his beloved cucumbers? Will Laura be able to escape the clumsy advances of the paparazzi? ALL THIS AND MORE WILL BE REVEALED.

Okay, some minor updates regarding the blog. I think I mentioned it before but Lily, Archer and Patterns are now available for download. I’ve also made some changes to the ‘About’ page but it’s nothing major.

That’s all! As always, thanks for reading.


Author: janeeyreforce

19 thoughts on “Chapter 2.4 – Planet pumpkin

  1. I love this blog. And I love you, even though I call you Janey.
    Awww, teeny tiny patterns! So squee! Can’t wait to see him as a teen. And Noelle is adorable!
    So much genetic cute!

    • Well I love you too bbygurrrrrrl. You can call me Janey anytime.

      Oh I am so psyched to see Fritz as a teen, I bet he’ll be cute. I’ll be putting the heir decision up to public vote on here, and I have an inkling he’ll be a popular choice.

  2. I don’t have the toddler version but I do have the version of that hairstyle for young adults and adults. I got it off

  3. Holy crap, I couldn’t stop laughing at that pumpkin picture at the end. It honestly took me 10 minutes to get over it! Anyways, AWESOME UPDATE!!!!! And BABEZZZZZ :p

  4. Aww! Noelle and Fritz are adorable. I’m glad Fritz got Patterns’ hair colour. He’s going to be a heartbreaker when he grows up!

    Somehow Connor leaving pumpkins around the house doesn’t surprise me one bit. He’s just very…fond of vegetable.

    I think I had Noelle’s hair back when I still had a computer that was able to play Sims 2, but I have no idea where to find it as CC and my Sims 3 game don’t seem to get along.

    Great update! (Also, I totally got the pun in your username and it made me realize that you were a quality person. And kudos to you for braving Reddit. I’ve heard too many horror stories to head there myself, though a friend swears that the Sims sections are okay.)

    • Me too. I’ll be putting the decision of heir up to vote on here, so maybe we’ll have a guy this time? Who knooooows. But that hair is fabulous.

      Yes, far too fond of them. I think gardening is an erotic experience for him.

      Yeah, Reddit is a bit hit and miss, especially considering their hive mind seems to favour misogyny. I only ever really post in the Sim subreddits. They’re a lovely bunch in there, and if you don’t want to post it’s fun to browse r/thesims and r/thesimslegacies. 🙂

  5. First, I totally got the pun in your username. It’s what made me really, really want to see your legacy. I knew it was going to be awesome, because I adore bad puns. lol

    Fritz is super cute! I love him! I also love that, in the picture of him and Connor, the computer screen is blank. It totally looks like Connor sat down and started pretending to be on the computer in order to ignore his grandchild.

  6. The legacy is getting even better. I love the grand-kids, I think that even though Friz has the coolest hair color yet contrasting his milk chocolate skin, I’m rooting (so far) for Noelle. Is just something about her that I like, a lot more than even her mother. She is so cool as a kid, I can only imagine what she will be like older.

    Great chapter as always janee (haha, I just call you janee to make it short but I guess I can switch to Jane. Although Janee has some charms to it… no? lol) I love the way you write this story, it was what pulled me in from the start, that and the name Laura 😉

    • I always felt Lily was interesting as a child, but then became kinda boring once she hit adulthood. However Noelle seems to have a lot of personality in her facial expressions especially. I’m also pretty excited to see what she’ll be like~!

      Haha no I like that you call me Janee. ❤ It was mostly a message for newcomers to the page anyway. LAURAS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

  7. Weeelll looky here. First chapter I figured out your name was the same name as your founder because of your photography page (noice, by the way, noice).

    I’m a smart cookie ^-^
    Also you kinda look like your founder in those pictures you put up earlier. Suuuper purty :3

  8. Yay, IF hair colour is the best. Watch out, though, it can easily invade generations of legacies! For some reason (Sim!Logic again is my bet), the IF hair colouring seems to be more easily inherited down the generations. But you’re right, Fritz is soo cute. Love Patterns’ tanned skin with Lily’s eye colour!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s