The Darroch Legacy

A Sims 3 Legacy blog

Chapter 1.9 – The unicorn said so

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Phew. Sorry for the delay with this chapter. I have been hideously ill this last week and was not in the right frame of mind to be writing. I feel like I’ve just come out of hibernation, only I don’t get to be a giant badass bear with anger problems and spend my days eating honey. Hmmph.
Anyway the last time we saw the Darrochs, Lily had just finished turning Patterns the IF into a REAL BOY. This is exciting. Be excited. Throw a party, eat some pizza. Lily finally has a potential love interest after Max the failure and Katy the uncertain lesbian.
So, Lily and Patterns decided to bundle awkwardly into the back of a taxi and head to the location of their date in total silence. Ah…first dates. I don’t miss them.

Emasculating your love interest in a battle of sports or ice skating is fast becoming a family tradition. Lily effortlessly weaved her way through the frozen lily pads whilst leaving Patterns to stumble around in his new body. Luckily, he didn’t cry. Connor totally would have cried.

The fastest way to a lover’s heart is via MEAT. Tons and tons of delicious MEAT. Gift your soulmate the wonders of clogged arteries, heart failure and thrombosis so they will never be fast enough to leave your side!

Whilst Lily was cooking up her plans to keep Patterns in the Darroch household forever, the former IF began scanning the skies for an alien sugar daddy to whisk him away.
Pattern’s traits are as follows:
Coward
Great kisser
Loves the outdoors
Proper
He is a Virgo with a love of geek rock, grilled cheese and the colour turquoise.

Ah, a glorious plate of phallic meaty objects coated in some form of mysterious sauce. What more do you need for a successful date, really? Well, aside from a strange person in the background with leather-daddy style trousers. He envies the hotdogs and their meaty growth.

With the taste of mystery sauce no.025 and hotdog grease still fresh upon their lips, Lily and Patterns finally share their first kiss together.
I really like this shot. However, the only reason I angled it this way was because of the strange leather-daddy staring intently at them in the background.

Suddenly, a unicorn appeared.
What the hell? This single handedly beats every date I’ve ever been on.

It stood there looking majestic as fuck, which I decided to take as a sign that Lily should be heir. I mean come on, she’s received the blessings of a UNICORN. Lily is heir. End of story.
I swear, next time you guys can take a vote, but this one wins by unicorn-default.

So the date concludes with Lily hand-feeding a unicorn. They head home soon after, before there is a chance for the magic to be ruined and the unicorn decides that tonight would be a wonderful night for a murderous rampage.

After years of observation, Patterns knows that in order to make a good impression on the father of his girlfriend he must avoid cutting up certain vegetables. Especially those of a green and phallic persuasion.

Okay Patterns. Completely snub your girlfriend in favour of her promiscuous younger brother. That isn’t going to cause issues at all.

Mango has been really lazy as of late. Long gone are his days of psychotic paper shredding and blood drinking. Now he just spends his time fatting around like a beached whale and peeing on Pattern’s sleeping bag.

Connor got another promotion! He is now two more away (I think) from reaching his LTW of becoming a robot-creature crossbreeder.
Lily: “SOON.”

Oh look, Archer has another girlfriend. No one is surprised. I wonder how long this one will last…two, maybe three minutes? She’ll break a record if she reaches five.
I bet they would have cute babies. I hope she sticks around.

It’s time for Lily to hurtle head first into adulthood and the challenges that come with it, such as becoming the heir of the Darroch household.
I’m not sure if she’s smiling because of that, or because there is cake and cake is wonderful.
I suspect the latter.

Of course, everyone got stuck in the doorway and totally missed out on the main part of Lily’s birthday. I swear this happens every single time. I should probably remodel the house. I did try having a back door for a while, but they would use it for everything, even if what they needed was literally right next to the front door.
Notice who Archer’s newest fling is thinking of?

Seeing as Lily loves to spend her days outside fishing I thought I’d give her a chilled out, slightly bohemian look that is also practical. I think it suits her, anything too girly just wouldn’t feel right.
I didn’t change her hair because this is the only one that suits her facial shape.
Lily rolled ‘perceptive’ as her final trait.

Lily didn’t want to be a total creeper so it was universally decided that Patterns should also age up to avoid moral complications. Ahem.
Max: * Makes obscene gestures * YEAH, TAKE IT PROM DATE.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.wav
Quick, time for a makeover whilst Lily is distracted by her hatred for Holly!

NOICE.
I am pretty excited to see what Lily and Pattern’s babies are going to look like. Here’s hoping they inherit his hair colour! It’ll also be nice to have some Darrochs that don’t look like they have extreme anemia.
Patterns rolled ‘workaholic’ as his final trait.

HOLY SHIT IT’S THE STALKER.
She came back. But will she ever leave? I don’t even remember inviting her so I can only assume she came crawling out of some nearby shrubbery.
“I like houses.”
“That’s nice…uh, who are you again?”
“Houses.”

Now that Lily has a nice set of skills under her belt, I figure it couldn’t hurt to have her re-take the aptitude test one last time. The results were a lot better! Looks like she’ll be heading off to uni without financially crippling the Darroch family, so Laura can continue to purchase the family-sized bags of Doritos she adores so much.

Soon after aging up, Patterns rolled his LTW of becoming a CEO of a mega-corporation. Looks like that workaholic trait is strong in this one. He managed to find a job in business fairly quickly as a coffee fetching intern.

This is where we’ll end the chapter. Wanting to escape the noise of her own birthday party Lily sneakily heads off to uni, leaving behind a household full of moist cucumbers and Dorito dust. I’m pretty sure homesickness is not going to be an issue.
~So, next time! Lily’s misadventures at university!~

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Author: janeeyreforce

eggshelldays.blogspot.co.uk

11 thoughts on “Chapter 1.9 – The unicorn said so

  1. Awwwww this is so sweet, Lily and Patterns. Btw he is freaking handsome… loved this chapter. 🙂

    • They are so cute together it makes me want to puke rainbows. ❤ Patterns is definitely carrying some good genes! I am eager to see what kind of offspring they'll create, but first Lily has to get through uni~

  2. B-b-but if Lilly goes to uni, what about Patches? 😦

  3. Late comment is late because I didn’t have time to comment before. 😦

    Yay for Lily and Patterns getting together! I loved their awkward first date. Nothing like meat and injuries to bring a couple together! Plus, if it’s blessed by a unicorn, then it must be good!

    Mango is starting to remind of me of my friend’s cat. Friend’s cat Charlie is enormous, spends half her time lazing around, and the other half biting you and/or pooping on the floor, though my friend says that she’s finally figured out how to use the litter box.

    Lily and Patterns are both lovely as adults! I love Lily’s outfit! It’s very pretty and suits her nicely. 🙂

    • No worries, late comments are awesome! It’s like having one last present waiting for you at christmas, haha!

      Oh man, I love fat cats. They are the besssst. But pooping and biting isn’t so good. My husband and I should hopefully be adopting a cat soon, but he isn’t fat. Very chatty though, and only has one eye. poor thing.

      Thanks! I’m glad you like her outfit, it was the only thing that didn’t look terrible on her for some reason. 😀

  4. I’ve fallen behind and I’m super sad… I’m so happy to see that Lily’s become heir, though! I love her, and can’t wait to see what she gets into at uni!

  5. Wow, who woulda thought Patterns would grow up into a total hottie!

  6. I really love Patterns’ look, and Lily’s. Cannot wait to see their babies! And I may just steal some Darrochs for prettifying my sims hoods.

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